Confessions of a Free Range Prolapsed Catholic

2.15 am. Knees awake and letting me know. Sitting in the recliner. Dog is snoring in his bed, apart from that, the house if blissfully silent. I am swathed in a blanket and have a rug I have knitted wrapped around my shoulders. It’s a bit chilly. I wonder what sun up will bring and I am hoping it will not bring a repeat of today.

It continues to amaze me that even though I am sometimes overwhelmed with frustration and a sense of ” why me”, I am snapped out of it by some set of circumstances that restores my “fight” and diminishes my ” flight” impulse and the events of 29/5/17 have been no exception!

Triple L and I would have been at the pool this morning except that we were both feeling a bit below par. He went back to bed till 2.00pm!  I fossicked around. I had to make us lunch which was a bit of a challenge but I did it. He finally announced that he thought a trip to casualty was in order because his heart beat was erratic and he had some lpain in his left arm. Assuming my usual stance in circumstances like these, I became a blubbering hulk and began considering where the funeral would be held! Thank GOD for child number 4 who took him up the casualty and then came back to collect me once Triple L was settled

He is OK. Heart was in irregular rhythm, possibly stress related, he has to cut down on his caffiene intake and come back if it happens again.

The doctor in charge was on duty the last time I went to casualty – a friendly, funny, very thorough fellow. We fell into conversation and I had a moan about the knees. Turns out my specialist had been his intern, he showed me a picture of his enormous bike, the same as his former intern’s and talked about what a good doctor his former intern was. I mentioned knees once too often and he said, “can I say something? The knees are mechanical. They are machines. Understand? The pain will get better if you lose weight.”

Number 4 child and Triple blanched!! “can I say something” came out of my mouth. ” I have lost five and a half stone sine June last year and I am still losing!”‘ Sensing the need to deflect he moved towards a Triple L and said “you could lose some weight too” ! Long, lean and loveable’s response to that was to demonstrate HIS  weight loss by showing  the number of holes in his belt he now bypasses and like duelling banjoes, the good doctor did the same! Not to be out done, I pulled up my sleeve, flexed my now clearly defined bicep,  but more importantly wobbled the drooping three inches of  “excess skin” which make my little grandsons burst into fits of laughter!

I once met a woman who I had not seen in a long time and who had lost a truckload of weight. She looked terrific. However, when she leaned her head forward , her face seemed to slide off its foundations! The same thing happens to my torso when I lean forward – it’s like one of those massive mudslides you see after torrential rain.i guess I could have shown the good doctor that, but we needed to get home.

Long lean and loveable is ok  To celebrate we ordered pizza for the first ime in a year!