Confessions of a Free Range Prolapsed Catholic

This one I am going to start in reverse order to the title!

I remember one night at home, I must have been less than 10 and the TV was really new. My Dad’s friend Max (they were journos) had just discovered colored television! We received an invitation to his home to view this incredible wonder ( I think it was even before TV was regarded “media”. It was more like entertainment). Ushered into lounge room to view this wonder, kids sitting on the floor in front. Max moved beside it to be close to the television and held up the miracle!

To this day I wonder if the grown ups were taking the mickey out of the engrossed children. It was a “sucked in event” that has stayed in my memory for more than 60 years! Needless to say, Dad did not rush out to chase his new technology! I’m not sure Mum came for the outing. Perhaps it was an attempt to give her some respite!

(Drum roll please! ..) Revealed was a thick translucent plastic “cover” designed to fit the TV screen. Divided into three horizontal sections,, “sky blue” a sort of yellowy mid section and grassy green at the bottom. The middle section was wider than the other two sections. Max fixed the plastic cover to the scree, turned on the tele and “VOILA! Its color TV!” “Oooos” and “Ahaas” from the floor sitters. Not much by way of comment from the adults!

Cracker night! I had no idea what the date was. I don’t even think I can remember it as a public holiday, but as winter crept in, with relief after energy sapping summer and an autumn that was hardly ever noticed except for the frangipani trees turning into ” maiden’s nightmares” as their leaves fell off (not knowing what the hell that meant in the 1950’s), preparations for Cracker night began.

The large and sweeping back yard was mowed. Overhanging branches were pruned. Holes were dug into the lawn and milk bottles were sunk into them to serve as launching pads for “sky rockets”! There was a trellis which was cleared of “climbers” and six inch nails were hammered in, in preparation for the lighting of the “Catherine Wheels”. A bucket of sand in case of fire, positioned next to the hose. All set!

Strings of little firecrackers, commonly known as “Tom Thumbs” were readied and put aside for the older, more responsible offspring to provide a sort of intermission to the “show” as Dad prepared for the next launch or the replacement of the Catherine Wheels! Penny Bungers and Tuppeny Bungers were distributed during breaks but only to the older offspring and there was a limit!

Mum and the “Littlies” were seated on the top steps – strictly observers until the Sparklers! It then became a free for all. Running around our lovely big backyard singing happy birthday to the queen, writing our names in the sparkles, steering clear of the launching sites making magic! We’d sometimes miss the recitation of The Rosary and go to bed. If it went ahead, we were all asleep before the ” Hail Holy Queen” ( Mary, not the birthday girl!)

The next day paper, not quite burnt out bungers, Catherine wheels, misfired rockets would be collected, put in the incinertor (a great big metal drom at the end of the yard) the residue was lit and all was returned to as it should be!

Bliss!